Newark => New York

I deleted the Live! From Newark! blog. Turns out the most clever part was the title. The videos weren't funny. And we didn't have a cable to transfer them to the computer anyway.

New York was fun, although I now know that it would be impossible for me to uproot myself and move out there without some sort of job, nice apartment, and a couple friends.

There was lots of downtime.

Here's a post I made when I first went out.

Aside from that...um, they are in love with Snapple out there. The Snapple to Coke machine ratio is roughly 1 to 2.

Also, for every Bohemian-dressed Urbana kid, there are 10,000 in New York. Either tons of people listen to indie pop out there or that's just how they dress.

Just a heads up...

If I ever made it into the film industry, and that's a big if, as I'm not even aspiring to, there's a few off-kilter ideas I intend to make cinematic masterpieces out of. I really would attempt to stir the pot in Hollywood. Here's my ideas:

1.) I want to make a Bond-type movie, where a really sweet badass agent does awesome shit with all sorts of explosions. You know how they usually have him do something really stupendous to set him up as a hero in the first ten minutes? Yeah, well during that part, I'm going to kill him off. Then the whole rest of the movie will be about evil winning out over good. No upside. Everybody leaves the theater depressed.

2.) I want to take the helm of a Superhero franchise, say Batman or something, and completely deconstruct the character. Like, he'll sill be the hero and save lives and stuff, but on the side he'll also molest children or dismember people or something, I'm totally cool with the person who gets the franchise after me completely ignoring my film as part of the canon.

3.) Have a really well written, dramatic movie, and only use the first take of each scene. If lighting is off, whatever, it goes to print. If the actors flub on the first take, it still goes to film. And if they mess up a name, I write in a part where the person who's name gets messed up goes and has their name legally changed.It will be a testament to everyone's abilities if it goes off well... or if they don't.

Of course Hollywood would most likely reject all three of these ideas, so I'd need to be a superhuge bigshot. But like I said, I am cerainly not actively pursuing that aspiration. But if you see one of these things on film, it means I've done it, somehow I pitched the idea, and it passed. Go me.

Thoughts as a Woman

So, last night I dressed in drag for a themed party. I was gorgeous. I had pink hotpants, a lowcut top, makeup, and a purse covering my package. Being a woman for the night made me realize somethings:

When you're dressed skimpily, you can become self-concious. I was constantly wondering if people liked my makeup, and I was constantly adjusting my crotch to make sure I wasn't exposed.

Also, when you wear that few clothes, you actually feel more liberated and open. With pants that high up on my thigh, I was basically basically "out there for the world to see". It's actually quite liberating.

So I think I get it. That's why women who dress sexy-like have confidence, even ugly fat ones. Which must be why women love confidence in a man so much.

It all makes sense now.

The Kevin Walsh Solution to Racism:

Wait for all the old racists to die.

An Open Letter to My Future Self

Dear Future Kevin,

What up dawg? (That's the popular greeting in 2007) How's life been treating me? I hope good. Things are going pretty good on my side of the temporal spectrum. I'm writing because there are some things you need to know, rather, remember.

I wanted to be somebody. I hope I still do. Or better yet, I hope I'm that body right now. Yeah, in fact, you better be successful by now, or at least on the road to it. Cuz if not, I'm going to be pissed. You had big dreams, aspirations, and if you haven't followed through on one of them, well then, you're just a no good failure.

Kill yourself.

I'm serious man. You better be a writer. Or something sweet. You better have a hot wife and some sweet kid(s). If not, cash in your chips, cut your losses and get out of this world, as I'm sure it's crowded enough by now.

Hey, remember college? I hope you remember me as the coolest kid ever, cuz I'm not actually, but time has a way of altering memories.

But yeah, the future must be sweet, I mean, it's the fucking FUTURE! Do they have jetpacks yet? Hotels on the moon? Have they found a way to send messages back in time?

I can only hope the world has advanced according to Gene Roddenberry's predictions. If so, screw writer, I want you on the course for Starship Captain (but I'd settle for lieutenant).

Say hi to your kid(s) for me; slap your hot wife on the ass and say "feels like it did in 2010", chicks still digg compliments, right?

Hasta La Vista, Baby
Kevin M. Wowsh

Where have I been?

I apologize for my lack of daily updates recently, but I assure you, I've been delightfully busy.

-I'm about a week or two shy of getting On-Air at WPGU 107.1, the Campus Radio Station. When that happens, I'll be sure to mob everyone I know with a link to stream it over the net. Oh, hell, here it is prematurely: www.wpgu.com

-School work is kicking my ass. I'm either not trying, or just overwhelmed. I have this one class, all math and physics. Thing is, I haven't taken either of those subject within the past 4 years. You can understand the difficulty.

-Jumping the Shark is doing real well. We just finished a new sketch. It's going to take some time to edit, but here's a teaser. PSA. This clip is going at the end of a sitcom-esque movie. We're also writing, editing, and sharing a buttload of ideas. I think Derek and I have figured out our second episodic series (the first being Neighborhood Watch, which currently only has one episode). This one is going to be about forming a band. That simple, but you'd be surprised at how funny this situation can be. We're both going to draw on inspiration from the high school bands we've been in. Hopefully, it will be both a statement of the music world, and of youth culture.

We're also entering a contest on April 28th, a comedy fest here at UIUC. I'm not sure if we're performing, or submitting a video. Either way, should be a good time. Also, I'm waiting for this cool dude Matt to get back to me on an improv troupe he's part of that is recruiting. Should be a fun time.


So yeah, if no one else reads this, I hope my future-self does, so he knows where I was at age 21.

Hi Kevin! I hope you're successful!

Everybody always makes money in Vegas always.